We long for relationships with others.
We all understand what a financial bank account is. We make monetary deposits into it to build up a reserve from which we can make withdrawals when needed.
An Emotional Bank Account (EBA) is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust we have built up in a relationship. It’s the safety net of trust we’ve built up with another human being.
When I make deposits into the Emotional Bank Account I have with you, I build up that reserve for the time I may need to make a withdrawal. The level of trust between us becomes higher and I can call on that trust if I need to.
My communication may not be clear but you’ll understand what I mean anyway.
When trust is high, communication is easy, immediate and effective.
Here are Emotional Bank Account (EBA) deposits that will go a long way to your being trusted, respected and an influencer. Someone others want to follow.
- Be Authentic – Be honest about current reality as it relates to what motivates, demotivates, drives you, and your Guiding Principles. No one will follow a hypocrite.
- Be Open & Honest – Honesty is a Biblical mandate. Be trustworthy, live in integrity and display high moral character. Don’t be afraid to tell some of the bad along with the good.
- Be Compassionate – people care when they know you care.
- Be Gentle – Be caring & Patient. “a gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.” -Proverbs 15:1
- Be Competent and Deliver Results
- Be a Good Listener – listen with the intent to understand rather than simply to reply. This is probably the single most important deposit you can make.
- Keep your Promises – if you say or even intimate that you are going to do something, do it. [an effective way to fulfill this deposit is to get in the habit of – Under-promise and Over-deliver (UPOD)]
- Think Win-Win or No Deal – have the courage to walk away if it’s not.
- Clarify Expectations – make sure everyone fully understands, including yourself. Unclear expectations undermine communication and trust. The cause of almost all relationship difficulties is rooted in this single issue.
- Be Loyal to the Absent – never talk badly about anyone behind their back.
- Apologize sincerely and quickly when you make a withdrawal from another’s Emotional Bank Account
- Be Proactive – Accept Responsibility – don’t blame anyone else.
- Be open to Feedback – be willing to listen to criticism; Correction does not mean rejection.
- Be Forgiving
All of life is about relationships.